Friends With Benefits: Can It Work?

So it's 2:30am and me and my girlfriends are about to leave the club. I shoot my Fwb a easy text "R u Up?!:P" and get a response within seconds, "cum on over". Sure, it may sound slutty or even like I'm some sort of sex crazed rabbit seeing for the next hump but it was late, Saturday night and I was horny. The charm of my Fwb relationship is that we don't have to be in a Serious relationship and still satisfy our carnal lust. I met him in my chemistry class and while it was not love at first sight, we got to know each other straight through studying/flirting and ending up hooking up in his dorm room. I know it's not going to be a long term thing which I'm fine with and I'm sure he's happy about it-Caroline, 23

Friends With Benefits: Where To Begin?

Whether or not you believe in a Fwb relationship, they exist and are addition in popularity for their ease and immediate gratification. In essence, it is a staple of our culture today and many students in college have admitted to having had one. So what are the real benefits other than the sexual pleasure?

Well for starters, it's a mutually beneficial relationship that is no strings attached where both parties are free to do whatever they like. Now sure, that may sound like its all fun and games but what happens when your friend with benefits wants to be more than just friends? Having a great time can fast lead to other emotions to blossom and soon that friend may be wanting a exiguous more than quick tumble in the sheets. They may want to even spoon!

Friends with benefits situations can be a great time and I'm sure many of you have engaged in similar activities. Mind you that this is not the same as a one night stand. The friendship and bond formed in the middle of the two of you are a great way to join together and the two of you may even honestly like to hang out or be with each other face the confines of a sheet and pillows. So is there any romance in such a relationship and how is it handled? In these types of situations, because your meetings are multiple in nature, you will have a inescapable element of romance involved. Sure, it may not be the wine and dine Hollywood style cliche but, it also not a wham, bam, thank you mam (although it may feel like it at times). One of the great things about a friend with benefits is that you can also talk to them and review in other ways than just casual sex.

For any guys reading this, please remember that a friend with advantage situation does not mean that chivalry is dead. We still want an occasional snack or even, dare I say it, a full meal! We are both satisfying each other's needs but if you are starting to get clingy or disrespectful, you can forgot about our next tryst. The advantage is in our court so try not to mess it up and go with the flow.

The Uh-Oh

So what if your friend with advantage meet's person else and then has to break it off with you? Will you be alright with this and can you emotionally detach yourself from the person? I remember a good friend once asked if they should have a Fwb with their ex that they had broken up with 5 months ago. I told her it was a bad decision and would finally bring up those negative emotions and feelings that flooded her when they split previously but, she refused didn't take my advice. Well, they started but, shortly thereafter, he told her she was being needy and he needed space. This demoralized her again and while she finally got over it (after meeting person else), those type of feelings shouldn't occur. Remember when you are about to get into a Fwb, have a clear mind and know what you want from the other person.

Now of course, there may (and in most cases, its inevitable) come a time where one of you will start to fabricate feelings that are serious as you are reasoning about a long term relationship. That's fine and pretty normal but when that occurs, the two of you then need to talk. I'm not going to tell you about the things to look for in a relationship because that's a whole other story but remember that it drastically changes the dynamic of the situation.

If it does come to that point, you two are at an interesting crossroad and you must be forward with each other about your motivations for the current status quo and what you want, either that be long term or just this month.

If you have any personal Fwb stories, comments, jokes or whatever you'd like to share with us, feel free to commentary below.

And remember, to always be safe and wrap it up!